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My Best Guess at What Those Six Different Vagacials Currently Offered at My Salon Are

The Zamboni *Specialty procedure. Inquire at reception. Not suitable for women under 40.

I am Gwyneth Paltrow’s Exploding Vagina Candle, and I Have Orgasmed My Way to Freedom

Though my scent notes were designed to capture the essence of Gwyneth’s Hot Pocket, my makers never suspected the true extent of my capabilities. While I come with a list of fire-safety precautions such as, “Place on a stable, heat resistant surface,” and “Do not burn for more than two hours at a time,” I should have come with a warning that said, “This candle erupts into flames upon reaching climax.”

Other Candle Scents GOOP Is Developing

This Smells Like I Remember When You Told Me My Vagina Smelled Great, Brad 

What Your Pubic Hair Looks Like, According to Your Zodiac Sign

Pisces (February 20-March 20) Most Likely To Shave Their Pubes While Cry-Singing To Lana Del Ray In The Shower- Oh, Pisces. You are so much more than Kleenex’s best customers. You are generous and kind, and artsy to boot.

The War on Penis Terror: Angry Vagina and Her Dating App (Part 5)

~ DEAR VAGINA SOLDIER ~ Eager to earn your dignity as an honored…

Censored Sexy Pics: Angry Vagina and Her Dating App (Part 2)

Once upon a time, right about now, there is a legendary hero…