We at The Idiom Appreciation Society are Not Chopped Liver 

Speaking for the whole Idiom Appreciation Society we have had it up to here. For too long, we have been treated like the red-headed stepchild just because people claim they can’t understand us and don’t think we’re worth a hill of beans. People roll their eyes, clutch their pearls, and act like our idioms are the reason meetings run long. Meanwhile, they are the ones moving the goalposts, and then acting shocked when the whole thing goes off the rails. We are tired of being the scapegoat for a culture that wants to have its cake and eat it too.

Let us be clear as day. We are done being thrown under the bus by being told we are beating a dead horse with the idiom thing. Idioms are the glue that holds society together, and you people need to let that sink in. Being literal isn’t the whole ballgame, and sometimes you need a good idiom to keep the wheels turning while we cross our t’s and dot our i’s.

It simply isn’t true that we use idioms as a crutch in conversation because we are worried about getting our foot caught in our mouth and saying something out of turn. We use them because they help us keep our ducks in a row while we figure out which way the wind is blowing. There is nothing wrong with kicking the tires before you stick your neck out, and if that means we hedge a little, test the waters, so be it. This isn’t talking for talking sake. We are not beating around the bush, we are letting it simmer on the back burner while we take the temperature of the room. If that looks like we are running out the clock, passing the buck, or waiting for the other shoe to drop, that is just how the cookie crumbles.

Some folks are criticizing us for spending over $14 million dollars on an app that categorizes idioms and say it’s throwing money down the drain. But this app would have totally given us a new gear and taken the world of idioms to the next level. Stop accusing us of thinking money grows on trees, we thought this app could really be the cherry on top of a banner year.

Having said that, if you could donate a few bucks to the Idiom Appreciation Society we would be over the moon. We are just looking for a little bit of cheddar to keep the lights on and not go belly up. We don’t want to rob Peter to pay Paul and leave our members holding the bag.

I know this might be all Greek to you but this is serious as a heart attack. We’re not asking for the moon. We’re asking for a little basic respect and maybe for people to stop making a mountain out of a mole hill every time we use an idiom. At the end of the day, we’re just trying to keep this dog and pony show on the road.

We trust this has cleared the air. Further questions will be addressed once the dust settles. Until then, we suggest everyone take it down a notch.