2024 Presidential Debate Drinking Game: Trump Expansion Pack
For each out and out, obvious lie that Trump makes, allow one tiny drop from a pre-measured eye dropper to fall into your mouth. Just one, it’s going to be a long night!
When Trump makes a reference to the Jan 6th rioters as “hostages”, use your bare hands to break the eye dropper into dozens of tiny pieces, enjoy the little stings and cuts on your hands as a pleasant distraction. Then take a shot from your bottle of bourbon.
Okay, when this guy… this fucking guy… this completely inhumane piece of shit… begins his racist, misogynistic tirades…. take a long swig from of the bourbon and then throw the bottle at the tv.
Go to the kitchen for a fresh bottle of bourbon. Take this moment to try and calm down a bit. Remember your blood pressure issues.
Relocate to the tv in the bedroom, and now he’s just…. You can’t be this drunk yet, right? But his words don’t work together, don’t make any sense. It’s nothing but incoherent rambling, but the moderators simply sit there and act as if they’re able to make sense of it. Take another drink, I guess? Yeah, go ahead and take a drink.
You can still hear his voice on the tv from the other room. Try to block it out, just focus on the task at hand. Your ex-wife’s dirtbag cousin brought a crack pipe to the house a few years back, and you’re pretty sure that you didn’t throw it away. Maybe in the box with the bongs? Please, why won’t his voice just go away??
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
