Entries by Chris Manson


Rude Celebrity Encounters

ROBERT DOWNEY JR. He was so rude when he walked into his mansion the night I broke in and passed out on the living room couch. Hey, I was drunk, you know? You’d think the guy could relate. He told me to get the hell out of his house before he called the police. Didn’t even add a “please.” The nerve of that guy.


My Speech to the 2023 Graduates

Congratulations, kindergarteners. And before you go dislocating your shoulders patting each other’s backs, you should know that the real world is more than fingerpaints and snack time. And first grade can be a bitch.