Oh great, you’re throwing up the pie now. And here comes the parchment paper. See this is what I’m talking about.
At a recent garage sale, I stumbled upon a used copy of Wackadoodle Mad Libs, one of my proudest literary achievements. Naturally, I was eager to flip through this old classic and personally witness the innocent sparks of imagination that my prose had fostered. What I saw instead was alarming, and more specifically, disgusting. Nearly every word that had been penciled into this children’s book was a reference to private body parts and/or their functional versatility. This is not an appropriate use of my work, and it must not continue.
Internet movie critic Robert “Bob” Umeck passed away in his sleep on Friday night at the age of 79. Bob’s death was as uneventful as his life, which can be described, at best, as thoroughly mediocre. What began as a promising youth quickly devolved into a middle age section that failed to adequately deliver on its original premise.
