Donald Trump’s Totally Untrue and Fabricated Random Acts of Kindness

Citizens provide personal accounts of the other side of Donald Trump.

Mary from Berkeley:

I was at the zoo. There was a baby rhino that wouldn’t drink its milk. None of the zookeepers were having any luck. Suddenly, a man emerged from the crowd that had formed.

“Mind if I give it a shot?”

It was Donald. He asked if I would hold his jacket as he climbed over the fence. He took that baby rhino, cradled it in his arms, and put the bottle in its mouth. As the rhino suckled, Donald caressed its head, and I could faintly hear him whisper, “It’s going to be okay, sweet one.”


Jodi from Boulder:

I was only halfway across the street in my wheelchair when one of my wheels became stuck. I panicked. The light was about to change and I couldn’t move. Out of nowhere, a large man bounded into the street. It was Donald. With one hand halting traffic, he guided me to safety. I tried to thank him, but Donald wasn’t interested.

“Where is the nearest hardware store?” he kept asking.

When I finally answered him, he quickly helped me into his Prius and took me straight there. Donald purchased the appropriate tools and proceeded to personally fix the faulty wheel in question. He also bought me a backup chair, but I haven’t used it yet because this one works better than ever. Thanks, Donald!


Ray from Philadelphia:

I was checking out at the supermarket and when I looked in my wallet, I realized that I didn’t have enough money to cover my groceries. As I began deliberating which items I would have to put back, I heard a voice behind me.

“Let me cover this for you.”

It was Donald. I tried to decline but it was no use. In fact, he doubled down further and paid for everyone else in line. That still wasn’t enough for Donald though. Later, when I was loading my groceries into my car, he came running over with a check for $100,000. As he handed it to me, he looked concerned.

“Do you think that will be enough?” he asked, a slight tremble in his voice.

I was speechless. He then gave me his personal cell number and insisted that I call him if things ever got hard again.


Lucy from Portland:


I was crying on the street after losing my job and my boyfriend breaking up with me, all on the same day. Everyone else just passed me by, but suddenly I heard a voice.

“Are you all right, dear?”

I lifted my eyes and saw the look of a kind soul, a person trying to reach out. It was Donald. I told him what happened. He took me out for coffee, then offered to cover my full tuition to get my master’s as well as pay for a dating coach until, in his words, “We find you the happiness you deserve.”


Craig from San Francisco:


It was a huge fire and it was obvious that the firefighters were understaffed. Suddenly, a large man in a suit grabbed a hose. It was Donald. One of the firefighters told him to put it down, that he was violating protocol. Donald would hear none of it.

“Punish me later! People’s lives are at stake right now!” he shouted as he dashed into the flames.

Sarah from Seattle:


I was walking in the park early one morning and I saw a man crouched on the ground, working in the soil. As I got closer, I could see that it was Donald. I asked him what he was doing. He told me that he was planting a beautiful tree, which would reach full maturity in 50 years. I guess my eyes betrayed a look of sadness because Donald picked up on it immediately.

“I see you’re doing the math,” he said with a warm smile. “And now you’re wondering why I’m doing this if I won’t be alive to see the fruits of my labor.”

I nodded, to which Donald responded with a proverb.

“Society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”

I felt a renewed faith in humanity upon witnessing this profoundly selfless act. With tears in my eyes, I thanked him for his service to the community and continued my walk. I can’t tell you which park we were in because Donald asked that I keep that private. He feared that a media frenzy would “violate the sanctity of the bond between man and Mother Earth.”