And so, if the Senator would like to continue using our platform to further his designs as preeminent Sith lord, to subvert our galaxy’s democratic institutions and establish himself as Galactic Emperor, we strongly urge him to resume doing so in more subtle ways.
Think of the hundreds of hours of tearful confessional booth footage that will never be captured, never even make it to the editing room. I’m telling you, this will be our national treasure left buried. Our ark of the covenant. Our holy grail.
How politics ruined Guess Who: “Seriously dude, this whole ‘I don’t see color’ bullshit is really slowing down each round.”
-Advanced common-sense policies to protect nation from external and internal threats, such as gender fluidity, impoverished refugees, non-addictive drugs, and the perils of a modern, integrated society.
-Consistently rated “Least Fuckable Face” by my boss, the president of the United States.