Highlights of Our So, So Scary Historical Ghost Tour
On karaoke nights at Butts & Thunder Bar, it’s said an apparition messes with the audio system. Many customers complain that singing so out of tune can only be caused by the supernatural.
Entries by Nolan Yard
Spooky Season Decor and Effects to Scare Middle-Aged Adults
Leave a bunch of unopened bills lying around. Replace the bathroom scale with a broken one that’s always ten pounds over. And more!
I’m Yukon Cornelius, Aerosmith’s Original Front Man
Being a Gemini, I’ve always been torn between being the center of attention and isolating myself in the stark abandoned wilderness. Truth be told, though I’ve found myself center stage in front of large crowds, my heart has always longed for silence and solitude.
Columbo Makes His Wife a Smoothie
Now, mid-blend something dawns on me. I notice an odd ratio between frozen fruit and juice. Could it be that I’ve mixed them up? I can see by your nodding that you know me all too well. Instead of 2 cups of fruit to 1 cup of juice, I flipped it. So essentially, instead of a smoothie, I’m making you a more refined juice! Columbo, you klutz.
Columbo Gets a Tennis Lesson
Columbo: You know, I gotta thank you for clarifying. I’ve always been confused about how the whole scoring thing works. So does this mean, if I get no points when I’m not serving, my opponent has to call me “love” before they serve?
Concierge Script for Meditative Retreat (Not a Raccoon-Infested Cabin)
Breakfast is cancelled this morning on account of one of mother earth’s little darlings breaking through the vent and sneaking off with the eggs. Fret not, our renowned cabin chef will make smoothies. No, those aren’t teeth marks. Those peaches are just very tenderized. Nothing like a healthy morning drink to set your meditative mind in veg-mode.