I tried cutting my own hair and am too embarrassed to be seen for the next few weeks. How about you just text me and I’ll get back to you when I get the chance?
Drink so much coffee that your heart rate is the same as it would be if you ran 100 yards. That has the same effect on your body, right?
Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of traffic court, I am here today to set the record straight regarding the events of June the 12th, and hopefully avoid losing $150. Quite frankly, I was under the impression that Officer Parsons would have something better to do than show up today and the ticket would be dropped. […]