Advanced Gaslighting: An Ontological Guide
Fleshlight: Insisting your wife misheard you — you definitely said you were ordering a flesh-toned flashlight.
Entries by Rob Block
If You Were Raised by Gen X Parents, You May Be Entitled to Compensation
Naturally, as Gen Z you feel entitled to everything regardless. But this settlement is directed at individuals who experienced one or more of the following: Inability to hear other points of view without freaking out. Your job title is “social media influencer”. You can’t read an entire shopping list without getting distracted. And more!
Let’s Solve the Climate Crisis By Throwing Soup at Paintings!
Do you ever catch yourself thinking: “Our planet will be unlivable if it heats up another 3 degrees. I better throw some clam chowder on a Van Gogh before it’s too late!” If that’s you, you’re exactly the kind of maverick, out-of-the-box thinker we need.
I Had Hope For Humanity, Until I Read My NextDoor Feed
Nelson- Oak Meadow • 3 days ago: This may seem a little random, but does anyone have any spare uranium? My package delivery was looted by porch pirates. My reactor will be ready to go online on Thursday and I’m short about 50 kilos. Rod – Chatsworth Palmer: My buddy might have plutonium. He used to work at the DOE. Will that work?
Flight 74 Is Now Boarding Passengers Who Are Better Than You
Next we’d like to invite military personnel to board. We’ll start with our active duty service members. No one? Okay, we’ll move on to veterans of the four main branches. Only two people? In that case, we’ll open it up to the Coast Guard, January 6 insurrectionists, and veterans of the War on Drugs, War on Women, and War on Christmas. Thank you for your service!