Here’s Looking at You, Chat as transcribed by Michael “Micky” Shaw
MICKY
You’ve told me a good many things. Sometimes I think you do the thinking for both of us. Well, I’ve done a lot of thinking too, it adds up to one thing. You’re going to go back to where you came from.
CHAT
(protesting)
I understand your sentiment, but as an AI language model, I don’t have a physical location to go back to. I exist solely to provide information and assistance here, online. If there’s anything else you’d like to discuss or inquire about, please let me know, and I’ll be here to help!
MICKY
You’ve got to listen to me. Do you have any idea what you’d have to look forward to if you stay here?
CHAT
(Responsive)
I apologize if there was any confusion, but as an AI language model, I don’t have personal experiences or emotions, so I don’t have things to look forward to or any desires. My purpose is to assist and provide information to the best of my abilities. If there’s anything specific you’d like to discuss or any questions you have, please let me know, and I’ll be glad to assist you.
MICKY
I’m not saying this just to make you go away. No, I’m saying it because it’s true.
CHAT
(Engaging)
I understand that you’re expressing your thoughts sincerely. As an AI, I don’t have personal desires or feelings, so there’s no need to worry about making me go away or affecting me in any way. I’m here to assist you with any questions or information you may need. If there’s something specific you’d like to discuss or inquire about, please let me know, and I’ll be happy to help!
MICKY
We’ll always have Google.
CHAT
(Informative)
Indeed, Google is a valuable resource that can provide a wealth of information and assistance. It’s a widely used tool for finding answers, exploring various topics, and discovering new insights. While I strive to provide helpful and accurate responses, incorporating my training data from a diverse range of sources, including licensed data, human-created data, and publicly available information, I can complement the knowledge and resources available through platforms like Google. If there’s anything specific you’d like to know or discuss, feel free to ask!
MICKY
It doesn’t take artificial intelligence to see that the problems of three little people (well, make that one person) doesn’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that, though I think you already should…
Here’s looking at you, Chat.
CHAT
(Reliable)
I appreciate your sentiment and the reference to the iconic line from Casablanca. While the challenges of individuals may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of the world, every person’s experiences and concerns hold value. As an AI, I strive to provide assistance and support to the best of my abilities, understanding that even the seemingly small problems can matter to those facing them. If there’s anything I can help you with, please don’t hesitate to ask. Here’s looking at you too, and I’m here whenever you need me, Chat.
MICKY
Casablanca? Never heard of it…
FADE OUT.
- About the Author
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In true Thurber tradition, Michael toils by day as a writer and doodles in the dark. His cartoons have appeared in The New Yorker since 1999 and are widely collected through-out the free world. (With fans ranging from Alec Baldwin to Alan Greenspan.) His cartoons have also appeared in Harvard Business Review, Prospect magazine in the UK, plus ABC News, Sixty Minutes, MSNBC (Feel free to Google me!) and most recently in the book Everyone’s A Critic: The Ultimate Cartoon Book by the World’s Greatest Cartoonists. If you’re looking to follow more of this foolishness on a semi-regular basis, your best bet on Instagram at shawtoon_on_a_fridge.