Joe Rogan’s Other Favorite Conspiracy Theories

Joe Rogan has been spreading anti-vaccination conspiracy theories on his podcast of late; of course, this is nothing new for the guy….Joe Rogan’s Other Favorite Conspiracy Theories

Zeta 384 beams are being transmitted into his brain, for the express purpose of giving him an erection when My Little Pony cartoons are broadcast on his television.

The door greeters at Wal-Mart are sentient plant-human hybrids who are being bred in order to make unflattering remarks about rap music on Facebook.

The eyes of the Little Debbie snack cake mascot can easily hypnotize the average person, compelling them to replace their neighbor’s weather-stripping over the weekend.

Mr. T has traveled back from a distant future, sent to our present by cybernetic overlords who just thought that it would be a funny thing to do.

Smucker’s raspberry jam can cure hemorrhoids, and even if it really can’t, it still feels really good to put a bunch of it into your bottom.

The last several secret-society beauty pageants, The Hotties Of The Illuminati, have been set-up to favor the contestants who are descended from Cthulhu.

Reruns of Who’s The Boss? are in heavy syndication rotation in order to keep audiences confused as to who the actual boss really is.

The sugar-coating on Frosted Flakes allows the consumer over time to communicate with insects, although most insects have a one-track mind and typically only want to discuss The Bachelor.

Having a pillow fight with an uncircumcised person of nomadic heritage is a sure way to incur the wrath of Zeus.

The adrenaline produced during an average square dance is inadvertently sending rude messages to violent beings in another galaxy.

The water used during wet t-shirt contests is comprised mostly of an experimental elixir that causes one’s pubic hair to fall out within moments.

Shingles are not caused by a virus introduced into a person’s body via chicken pox, but rather a section of roof falling from a great distance and hitting you on the back.