Looney Tunes Episodes, if Cartoons Were as Political Today as They Were When Bugs Bunny Killed Hitler

Elmer Fudd is elected president of the NRA.

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Porky Pig becomes a speech & language pathologist and an anti-bullying activist. Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird both publicly endorse his work.

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Foghorn Leghorn realizes he has a patriarchal tendency to dominate conversations. He reflects and decides he’d like to make a change. He goes on a Listening Tour to learn to be a better ally.

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Penelope Pussycat hits a breaking point and files a workplace harassment complaint against Pepe Le Pew. Pepe is called into HR for a very awkward meeting. Enraged, Pepe becomes a Men’s Rights Activist. He does not get disciplined or fired.

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Tired of being “othered,” Marvin the Martian becomes politically active. A technologist at heart, he is initially attracted to the libertarian party, but quickly realizes that none of their policies are effective in the real world. Instead, he joins the Democratic Socialists of America.  He runs for congress on a far-leftist platform, and, in an upset, wins! Many of the ‘Toons doubt the sincerity of his change of heart, and treat his political ascent with suspicion.

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Wile E. Coyote takes matters into his own hands and builds The Wall. To reward himself for his hard work, he engages in his favorite hobby: pursuing Road Runner. He buys some Acme™ TNT, attaches it to a trip wire in the road, and waits. Road Runner runs into it, but instead of detonating the TNT, Road Runner drags it along with him – all the way to the border wall! As Road Runner speeds past, the dynamite catches on the wall and explodes, bringing the whole thing down. Road Runner is unscathed; Wile E. gets second-degree burns.

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Elmer Fudd lobbies congress to enact a law ensuring permanent open access to assault rifles, and ongoing open season on wascally wabbits. He’s horrified when, in the middle of his big presentation, his gun goes flaccid. He desperately peers down the barrel of his droopy gun in hopes of fixing it, but instead, the gun discharges into his face! Thankfully, Marvin the Martian’s anti-violence coalition has already successfully banned the sale of most types of ammunition, so the bullet in Fudd’s gun simply unfurls a small flag reading “Maybe there’s a better way.” Sooty and dejected, Fudd leaves congress in a state of total humiliation. Foghorn Leghorn happens to be in DC at the same time, doing some consulting work for an NGO to help them improve their engagement with the crucial Bird Cartoon demographic. He crosses paths with Fudd and spends a long time listening to his tale of degradation and failure. Sensing Fudd’s desperation, he gently suggests that Fudd connect with his good friend Pepe Le Pew, a former Men’s Right’s Activist who came to the realization that his anger and entitlement were almost as toxic for himself as they were for the women around him, spent many years in therapy unpacking why his identity was so closely tied to his sexual conquests, and finally realized that his constant search for sexual validation was a hedge against the profound feelings of inferiority that grew out of having cold, distant parents, and also stink glands. Foghorn tells Fudd that Pepe now does therapeutic work with other men whose fragile masculinity causes them pain and suffering, and gently wonders if Fudd’s preoccupation with firearms masks a deep-seated hurt that could be healed. Feeling truly seen for the first time in his life, Fudd breaks down sobbing. He knows the road ahead of him will be long, and that therapy will require his commitment and hard work, but even the idea of moving past his feelings of inadequacy brings him tremendous relief.

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A Prius falls on Wile E. Coyote’s head and the impact folds his body up like an accordion, making him wheeze chords as he walks.