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Recent Justice League Sexual Harassment Allegations
Super-powered individuals are placed on a pedestal in our society, due to the fact that many are actual heroes. But at the end of the day, they are just celebrities, and susceptible to the weaknesses and foibles of other, similar folk (plus, Kryptonite).
Here are a few recent, unfortunate examples…
Recent Justice League Sexual Harassment Allegations
Batman was recently accused of being inappropriate and grabby by his teenaged sidekick Robin. Batman continues to insist that he was being influenced by Poison Ivy’s mind-controlling love potions at the time, and therefore not responsible for his actions.
Half a dozen women have come forward, claiming that Superman was sexually inappropriate while using his X-ray vision to view their persons. Superman maintains that he was checking not only them, but all passengers on the runway train, searching for microscopic bombs planted by Metallo. Close friend and Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent was unavailable for comment.
Both women and men have made statements to the press, expressing dismay and embarrassment at having been tied up with Wonder Woman’s lasso of truth. They accuse the Amazonian princess of making them feel like a piece of meat, and insist that she used the roofie-like rope device to cloud their minds and remove their inhibitions.
The Flash has reportedly been seen zipping around the streets of Central City, intentionally running past skirt-wearing women so that their underpants, or less, are visible to him and others around them. “It wouldn’t be so bad,” said one humiliated woman, “if it stopped there, but then he also makes a video of the incidents and posts them on his Flash In The Flesh web-site.”.
Even more women have come forward to complain about Aquaman’s inappropriate remarks. “He’s always doing this creepy eyebrow wag while asking, ‘What smells like fish?'” complained one recent victim of his crude behavior. “I think that it’s supposed to be ironic,” she added, “but it just comes off as sleazy and gross.”
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
