Posts

Let's Solve the Climate Crisis By Throwing Soup at Paintings! 

Do you ever catch yourself thinking: “Our planet will be unlivable if it heats up another 3 degrees.  I better throw some clam chowder on a Van Gogh before it’s too late!”  If that’s you, you’re exactly the kind of maverick, out-of-the-box thinker we need. 

CARTOON: Priceless Perception

Price Pivot. Today's cartoon by Amanda Chung & Vin Coca.

CARTOON: Messy Masterpiece

Chromatic Confusion. Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

Lesser Known Bodies of Everest

Tired of seeing all those normal frozen hikers? See what Everest doesn't want you to see! Illustrated list by Thomas Wykes.

CARTOON: Harnessing Creativity

Inspiration, not perspiration. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Please Do Not Show My Child Michelangelo’s David for I Wish to Bang It

When I consider the balance of the sculpture, still standing five centuries later, I don’t whisper, “behold structural engineering of this masterpiece.”  No. I think, "I hope humping it wouldn’t knock it over.” A piece that stirs such sinful thoughts could never be considered art.

CARTOON: Sacked

You want fries with that? Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

Things Not To Ask Your Doctor About

P.E. ( Pasta Elbow) P.A.B ( Passive Aggressive Breathing while sleeping) and more things to not ask your doctor about.

CARTOON: Plant Plans

CARTOON: Hairy Heist

The night is ours! Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

CARTOON: Bulls Blood

The red wine was a mistake. Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson,

COMIC: Captain F#%cked Planet

Captain Planet is looking for a new planet to save, this one is cooked.

Acceptable Mermaid Skin Tones: A Guide for Racists

*Not a comprehensive guide: mermaids are fictional creatures.

CARTOON: Wacky Backy

Next goes the hair. Today's cartoon by Patrick Hickey.

CARTOON: My Four-Year-Old Rates Cups

This will effect your tip. Today's cartoon by Rachel Deutsch.

CARTOON: Dali Playground

Paintings of Classical Antiquity That Pay Homage To Breasts

Welcome to the Breastish Museum in London, a Victorian brownstone dedicated to celebrating women, whose fronts have been at the center of the art world for millennia. On our top floor, we pay homage to masterpieces that supported the idea of breasts as the one power women had in classical antiquity. Indeed, most forward-thinking, high-minded male painters who influenced modern philosophy and pioneered cultural movements (European Neoclassicism, for example,) had the genius to recognize the need for women to bare their chests whenever possible. 

Let's Get High And Go To The Van Gogh Museum

I know I’ve never done marijuana before, but I hear the weed is different here, stronger, fancier, more European. Like people forget where they are and just wander the streets of Amsterdam, with time revealing itself as the manmade construct it’s always been. People say you’ll learn to live fully in the moment, and everything else falls away, like an ear falling off someone’s head.

You Can Be Anything You Want! And Other Lies We Tell Girls About the Professional World

Broadcast Journalist- LIE: Newsrooms are desperate for a feminist angle for their stories! TRUTH: Must be smoking hot according to the standards of a bunch of middle aged men in a conference room.

Talkward w/ guest Ivan Ehlers

This episode welcomes cartoonist and comedy writer Ivan Ehlers! Ivan has been a regular in The New Yorker, MAD Magazine, Weekly Humorist, LA Times and others. His first series 'Dee Dee Sawyer Ghoul Destroyer' is available now on Webtoons. See all his work at https://www.instagram.com/ivan_ehlers/

Upcoming Family Interventions

Uncle Frank: We’ve survived three Trump Thanksgivings. What we cannot stand for is you now finding God. Location: If you get vaccinated, your favorite restaurant.

CARTOON: Family Tree

A wood it kill you to call? Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea.

Swipe Left Club

Not everybody gets swiped right on dating APPs. Some people get swiped left. Chalk it up to a bad haircut, a sick fetish, or a prison record, but some people just have that certain je ne sais quoi that can only be found in books, though not bestsellers. Excerpted from SwipeLeftClub.com a new illustrated series by J.C. Duffy.

Aggressive Optical Illusions

Is this a perfect square? Or is perfection a foreign concept to someone like you?

CARTOON: Shock Shlock

What would become to be known as the lowest point. Today's cartoon by Jeffrey Curnow.

CARTOON: Big Head

Don't get a big head or anything. Today's cartoon by M.R. Miller and Nick Greenberg.

Alternative Uses for Your Masks Once the Pandemic is Over

Hamster Hammock, Tiny Purse, Water Balloon Sling, and more in this illustrated list.

What Is An NFT?

Naughty Flying Triangle? National Foundation of Triceratops? Nanas Fighting Terminators? Check out this wonderful illustrated list by Thomas Wykes.

Talkward w/ guests Kit Lively & David DeGrand

This episode of Talkward welcomes cartoon comedy duo Kit Lively and David DeGrand. They have a new book out called 'Twisted Tongues: Jokes, Comics, Facts, and Tongue Twisters' We discuss their years working together for MAD Magazine and David's recent gig designing the animated show 'Death Hacks'.

The Cartoon Pad w/ guest Sam Viviano

This week the Cartoon Pad talks with the one and only Sam Viviano of MAD magazine fame and misfortune. We delve into Sam’s start, his acclaimed career and his take on MAD’s end.

How To Act Normal

Small talk with strangers, gifts, and polite interaction. Who remembers how?? This illustrated guide by Jake Goldwasser will help.

NFTs You Might Want To Buy From Me

These are going fast and you do not want to be left out! Illustrated list by Tiny Beast Comics.

Honest with Your Self-Care Mantras

You are enough, but just barely. Practice saying no, but then cave and say yes. And more.

CARTOON: Taken Talent

After a while you won't even notice. Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson.

Trump “Will Return in Some Form”

A fly, Lo-Flo Toilet, A Bad Smell, Mitch McConnell's Hemorrhoid Pillow, and other manifestations Trump might return as.

3 Restaurant Concepts Built to Last Through the Winter of Covid-19

1. SNØRDNØRT: Inspired by Norwegian cuisine and culture, this outdoor-only dining destination welcomes the winter. “Of course it’s going to be cold outside. And dark.” SNØRDNØRT also employs a paramedic on-site, to tell you when you have legit developed frostbite and need to leave.

CARTOON: Read Between The Lines

Decoding. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Illustrated List: Baskets, Ranked

Easter Basket, Keister Basket, and more! (Who you calling a basket case?!)

CARTOON: Covidiot

Can't take my freedumb! Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

I Voted Stickers For Everyday Activities

Voting is cool, but there's all sorts of other things to brag about!

CARTOON: Book Launch 2020

Step way back and check out our new releases!

How’s It Going? A F.A.Q.

Q: How’s it going? A: The standard answer “as well as can be excepted” applies, although this may fluctuate slightly on a day-to-day basis. Things that can influence how well things are going on any given day include exercising, sex (or lack thereof), looking at real estate listings, level of news consumption, and which of our national institutions are falling apart.

COVID-19's Kitschy Bumper Sticker Phase

Honk if you have Antibodies! And more!

CARTOON: Demographics

Check these figures and get back to me. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

CARTOON: Sign Here

I'm writing on your crack, does it tickle? Today's cartoon by Tom Chitty.

How To Enjoy The Sun Safely During The Pandemic

Including 'don't shake hands with the sun' and 'Stay at least 2 metres from the sun' And more!

Intentionally Uninspiring Throw Pillows

We Actually Hate Having Guests! And more.

CARTOON: Feline Feeling

Purrrfect match? Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea

CARTOON: Bar Fly

Buzz Buzzed. The Adventures of Bar Fly, by Kit Lively and David Degrand.

New Uses For Obsolete Bras

Dog harness, Privacy screens, and more uses for all those unused bras.

CARTOON: Mom Wipes

You got a little something on your cheek. Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

Drinking Apparatuses I’d Sooner Use Than A Paper Straw

A Funnel: When time is of the essence and decency is not.

CARTOON: Hard Thoughts

Amazingly sculpted cold sweat detail! Today's cartoon by Grayson Gibbs.

Stuff I Carry in the Gaps Between My Boobs and My Ill-Fitting Bras

What do you keep in your bra gaps? Written by Claire Tadokoro, and illustrated by Sarah Kempa.

CARTOON: Stereotyping

Stereotyping is bad, mostly because of the hand cramps. Today's cartoon by Rich Sparks! Go pick up his new book, "LOVE and other weird things by Rich Sparks"

Questionable Artist Residencies

We here at Chipotle are officially looking for an artist in residence. The program involves your working at Chipotle full time with no pay or benefits, but you have an artist studio to use for up to 15 minutes a day.

Incredibly Honest Postcards

not MISSING YOU one bit...and more!

CARTOON: Much Latergram

Felt cute, might eat. Today's cartoon by Mat Barton and Adam Cooper.

CARTOON: These Suck

These suck. Today's cartoon by Madeline Horwath

CARTOON: Star-Popped Lovers

The static electricity between these two is incredible! Today's cartoon by Mike Shiell.

Your Mom's New Inspirational Wall Art

In This Family We Love, Laugh, and At Least Consider Grad School, Your Cousin Went. And more.

CARTOON: Drawn To A Close

Drawn to a close. Did we miss any? Today's cartoon by Mike Shiell.

CARTOON: Art Class

Frustrating times 8. Today's cartoon by Jack Loftus.

CARTOON: Tough Move

Tough move. Today's cartoon by Jeremy Banx.

CARTOON: Terms & Conditions

PIC QUIP: Chris Christie Portrait

PIC QUIP: Trump's Art Collection

Chicago art museum says Renoir in Trump's NYC apartment is fake.…

New Art Gallery Openings

Winter has arrived, why not go out and see an art exhibit or…