Excerpts from the Episode of SNL Hosted by COVID-19

Covid popped up on Weekend Update dressed as a syringe and playing Ozempic. Covid and Colin Jost could not get through the bit without breaking as Ozempic talked in an unexplained Southern drawl that people are more willing to put Ozempic in their body no questions asked than the Covid vaccine, “And, hell, that good for ol’ Ozempic.”

Notable Harvard Alumni, Evaluated By How Much of a Dick They Were to Elle Woods

Colin Jost was a total dick and wrote shitty jokes about Bruiser Woods in The Harvard Lampoon.