Fact Check: A Race of Fish-Eating Monsters Does Not Live Above Water

“Many fish get lost if they go too far up,” says Bass. “But that doesn’t mean they’re leaving the water or getting transported to some mystical ‘dry land’ where they’re chopped to pieces and devoured by walking-talking giants. Those stories are pure make-believe.”

QAnon Makes Other Predictions Now That Trump is Out of Office

On July 8th, all of the world’s cats will reveal that they’ve been able to talk this entire time, but just prefer to communicate by meowing and peeing on your clean laundry.

Introducing “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better!”

With 100% less substance than actual efforts to make things better, the sentiment “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better!” is the rich new way to respond to your recent decisions. For example, let’s say you choose to spread a succulent deception. What can you possibly say about the unsavory behavior of some who consume it? That's easy. “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better!”

Other Presidential Conspiracy Theories

Abraham Lincoln secretly discovered the internet in 1863, but fearing the negative consequences it could have on society, he only used it for porn.