Posts

This New York City Apartment Is Perfect. The Only Drawback Is the Coat Closet That’s a Direct Portal to the Ninth Circle of Hell

Tom is a spirit with bat wings and a tail, condemned to a cell that just so happens to be 12-stories directly below this Park Slope apartment’s coat closet. Tom is eternally on fire. He is also the love of my life.

Can We Circle Back On This Exorcism? 

I hope this email finds you well. I’m looking forward to collaborating with you on excavating a demon from my mortal soul. Unfortunately, I’m at full capacity this week and will be unable to accommodate this ritual in my schedule until midway through Q4. 

More Terrifying German Monsters Who are Not Krampus for the Other Holidays

The Krampus, the goat-like German Christmas demon, is responsible for spreading a festive mix of anxious joy and existential terror every year on December 6th when he comes to punish the naughty children. But once the Christmas season is past, who takes over the hallowed task of striking warmth and dread into the hearts of people, throughout the year? 

Gorvath The Infernal Presents Fun Summer Tips For Execrable Human Scum

The insatiable thirst of you lumbering, barely sentient beasts will never be quenched. Such is the nature of your dire species. But if you insist, a nice pitcher of ginades on the beach is lovely and refreshing.

#DemonicDatingApps

Sinder, Harmers Only, Scratch, and more ##DemonicDatingApps on this week's trending joke game!

My January Exercise Journal With My New Workout Mirror!

Jan 5th: Did my first workout today. Phew, it’s hard to keep up with the instructor (a super smiley and toned gal named Holly) during all those thigh busting pop squats. She really understands what motivates me, like when she yells, “Every step you take gets me closer to FREEDOM!” She must know I love helping people.

It's Time to Meet the 2017 RNC Babies!

What do you get when you mix $7 Bud Lights with 50,000 pro-life…