Gorvath The Infernal Presents Fun Summer Tips For Execrable Human Scum
The insatiable thirst of you lumbering, barely sentient beasts will never be quenched. Such is the nature of your dire species. But if you insist, a nice pitcher of ginades on the beach is lovely and refreshing.
Please, oh please, continue to destroy your bodies beneath the poisonous rays of your cruel sun. The anticipation of your painful demise is truly mouth-watering. If you’d like to prolong our tantalizing dance for a year or two more than expected, an SPF 40 is recommended. Maybe wear a hat as well.
I cannot help but chuckle at the irony of suggesting that you and your reprehensible brethren gather in the “back” “yard” of your domicile in order to grill seasoned meats, when I know that soon you all will be flayed and roasting above the fire pits of Orngvortg 7. But yet, this is what I recommend, so you must comply.
A microscopic virus almost consumed your entire species. A tiny virus!! Pathetic. But you ultimately persevered, like the loathsome cockroaches that you are. So a small picnic in the park with other vaccinated swine would certainly be an enjoyable experience.
Enjoy the loud explosions and bright colors of your fireworks, you imbecilic warmongers. The ensuing damage to your optical nerves and auditory canals will make your eventual herding all the more easy for my kind. Oooh, that was a nice, sparkly one!
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
