Posts
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An Open Letter To The Guy Who Exposed Himself On Stage At The Music Festival
Here’s an important rule to remember about penises: they should never be a surprise. You need consent from whoever you plan on showing your dingaling to before it makes an appearance. I don’t recall you getting on the mic and asking for the audience’s permission.
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Other Ways to Celebrate Woodstock 50
Go back and listen to the music that made Woodstock, perhaps for the first time while sober.
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Cardi D Minus and 11 Other Discounted Bands Announce Summer Tours
The Pips, No Gladys, Perturbed Against The Machine, Some Doubt, The Jonas Brothers’ Cousins and more budget concerts coming this summer!
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New Coachella Ticket Add-Ons
Use of trans-dimensional portal to visit Earth-2’s famous music and arts festival, Craig T Nelsonella. ($850 up charge)
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2019 Lollapalooza Act or Font
Ariana Grande, Lulo Clean, Childish Gambino and more 'Font Or Band'. Guys, Comic Sans was snubbed AGAIN.
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Governor’s Ball presents a new VIP experience: The Velveeta Cheese Chain Smoking Tent brought to you by Crocs Shoes
In case there wasn’t enough glitter and Woodstock nostalgia…