Tag Archive for: haunted

Haunted Houses Are Played Out. Make A Haunted Home Instead.

First, set the mood on your front porch. You don’t need revving chainsaws or the flaming grins of jack o’lanterns to instill fear. In a haunted home, you can achieve the same effect by mounting a sign next to the door saying “Live. Laugh. Love.” Lavender background and cursive are optimal.

Getting the Most out of Your Haunted Mirror

The reflection of a haunted mirror is often an actual parallel dimension, and given half a chance an inhabitant of that dimension will attempt to possess and replace you at the first opportunity. This of course would leave you trapped in the mirror dimension, but so what? Who couldn't use a rest from the problems and responsibilities of their normal, daily routine? Just make sure that the reflection contains a nice, comfy bed, a tv and your bong. Now you're all set for the ultimate staycation!

Thanks For Selecting Our Airbnb, P.S. It’s Haunted 

Feel free to use both our washer and our dryer, we keep the laundry detergent under the sink. Before inserting your load, take the cowbell off the shelf above the laundry machine and ring it three times. This should scare the poltergeist enough that he vacates the washer. If he’s in the dryer, you’re out of luck – he really likes it there. 

I’m the Ghost of a Non-Energy Efficient Home, and I Can’t Haunt This House for Shit

I’m tired of competing with typical sounds in this godforsaken…