A Haunting Plea to the HOA: Halloween Decor Disaster

Greetings from Apartment 3B, where Paul, the self-proclaimed defender of sanity, would like to issue a pre-emptive strike against the impending Halloween decor about to engulf our building. I hereby cast my vote in favor of banning these festive accouterments in the name of safety! 

Welcome To Your HOA’s Adult Progressive Disease and Virus Halloween Party

Consent is overrated when it comes to contracting diseases especially since you took your child over to Suzy’s, but no judgement. There is an H in HOA, but it doesn’t stand for HIPAA requirements.

New Community Association Guidelines For This Year’s Halloween Festivities

Our smarter, more engineerically inclined neighbors are constructing hydraulic candy launchers and gravity-inspired candy chutes.  That’s fine I guess.  I’m not one to argue with a smart person.  We do however, discourage haphazardly throwing candy at trick-or-treaters. Candy corn can sting! The CDC method is probably best.  We do however, encourage you to throw candy at Marliese and Trent.