Tag Archive for: products

The Rolex Venti Flex and Other Luxury Brand Collabs We Should Expect to See

Chanel x DoorDash: The Haute Mess Collection This isn't just a luxury fragrance line. It's a testament to the complete surrender to convenience and culinary squalor. Each bespoke scent features notes of truffle oil, three-day-old ranch dressing, and the cold, unyielding desperation of a life slowly dissolving into meaningless. Spritz on “Pizza Grease No. 5” for that authentic scent of a late-night cry-session over lukewarm pepperoni, or bathe in “Midnight Nuggies” that capture the ephemeral aroma of processed poultry and profound self-loathing. Bottles arrive precisely 45 minutes past promised delivery, are suspiciously warm, and are gently launched at your door by someone who now legitimately hates you.

Rainbow Capitalism Products That Companies Confidently Assumed the Gays Would Buy During Pride Month

LA Dodgers Rainbow Nun Habit: Missing your favorite drag nuns? Buy this habit from us- the ones who uninvited them from our LGBTQ+ Pride Night in the first place!

The Online Reviews I’m Endlessly Scrolling to Find

Finally: The Most Comfortable Pants In The World That No One Will Say Look Comfortable: I’ve worn these outside the house at least twenty different times and not one person (knock on wood) has said, “I like your pants, they look super comfortable.” Instead, they just say the first part of that sentence and then stop. I am amazed!

O Captain Crunch, My Captain Crunch And 9 Other Corporate Naming Rights Suggestions for Great Works Of Poetry

The Love Song of J. Crew Alfred Prufrock - TS Eliot, The Charge of the Bud Light Brigade – Alfred Lord Tennyson, Caged Bird’s Eye Frozen Dinners – Maya Angelou

Ads For Products You Never Wanted

Winner's Rubix Cube: Did you like fidget spinners? Do you want to feel smart without doing any work to get there? Soothe your ego with a Winner's Rubix Cube.

C’EST TOXIQUE (For The Man Who Isn’t Afraid Of A Few Non-Existent Side Effects)

C’est Toxique is a real cologne, for real men, and it definitely won’t make you incontinent.