Posts

CARTOON: Math Laugh

Banner Year. Today's cartoon by Phil Johnson.

We Are Denying You Admittance To This University Because Your Senior Prank Was So Lame 

We encourage all of our students to try to embody this mantra at all times, as creativity is inherent in the Wilhearst experience. So with that aphorism in mind, you can only imagine how disappointed our team was to see that hackneyed senior prank you tried to pull with your buddy Jeff.

"Don't Smile Until Thanksgiving" and Other Tips for New Teachers

To earn your kindergarten students’ respect, start the year off strict and smile-free. Your students might test your anti-smiling resolve prior to Thanksgiving by saying cute things like, “You’re my best fwend” or “I wuv you.” Do not break. If students catch you smiling before Thanksgiving, they will probably assume you are a professional clown.

Travel The Safe Way This Spring Break: In A Covered Wagon

Experience America the way the early Americans did: in a covered wagon, a.k.a. the Conestoga wagon a.k.a. the prairie schooner! Our covered wagon partners will cart you and your family wherever the heck you’d all like to go. Just bear in mind, covered wagons have way worse heat than your old 1982 Toyota Corolla wagon, and we won’t be held responsible for frostbite. No smoking or open fires allowed in wagons.

Remote Online Training Reluctantly Delivered To You Remotely From Your Remotely Conscious I.T. Staff

The Provost should have written this online guide, but he’s being tutored by his 9-year-old son learning HTML and Cobra in the likely event that budget cuts will slash our entire IT department. So after sharing some edibles, we are totally unprepared to prepare you.