What Would Have Happened in the Cue-Card Scene from Love Actually if Peter had Opened the Door

In the film Love Actually, the character of Mark (Andrew Lincoln) uses a quiet moment between himself and Juliet (Keira Knightley), the wife of his best friend Peter (Chiwetel Ejiofor), to confess his love for her. 

 

Mark’s plan went perfectly, but what would have happened if Peter had answered the door? We now know the answer thanks to this deleted scene, released in celebration of the 17th anniversary of the film. This alternate scene shows that Mark actually had a backup plan in case this very scenario occurred.

 

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Peter and Juliet are watching TV when they hear a knock at their front door. Peter leaves the room and opens the door to see his best friend, Mark, holding a boombox and cue cards. Mark is visibly surprised to see Peter.

 

Mark: Shit.

Peter: What?

Mark: Shhh, I mean, shhhh.

Juliet (still watching TV): Who is it?

 

Mark holds his stack of cue cards up for Peter to read.

 

Mark’s Cue Card: Say it’s Carol Singers

 

Mark plays a Christmas carol on his boombox.

Peter (to Juliet): It’s carol singers.

Juliet: Oh, I love carol singers!

 

Mark remembers his backup plan and flips his stack of cue cards from the “Juliet-side” to the “Peter-side”.

 

Reverse Side of Cue Card: Tell her it’s just a drunk guy.

Peter: Never mind, it’s just a guy who’s pissed.

 

Mark skips to the next track, which sounds like a drunk man mumbling.

 

Juliet: Well, give him a quid and tell him to bugger off!

 

Juliet continues watching TV in the other room as Peter gives Mark a questioning look at the door.

 

Next Cue Card: Hey dude, what’s up?

Next Cue Card: Thinking about getting a new car.

Next Cue Card: *Pictures of: Ford Puma, Ford Focus, and Ford Fiesta cars*

 

Peter isn’t sure what to say.

 

Next Cue Card: I figured I’d get your opinion.

Next Cue Card: Without hope or agenda.

Next Cue Card: Just because it’s Christmas.

Next Cue Card: And at Christmas you get your friend’s thoughts on cars.

Peter (confused): You do?

Mark nods his head “yes”. 

Next Cue Card: To me you are perfect at picking out friend’s new cars.

Peter (even more confused): I am?

 

Mark nods his head “yes” again.

 

Next Cue Card: And my currently wasted car-park will love you forever for picking out a new car.

Next Cue Card: Hey, look at this.

Next Cue Card: *Picture of a mummified person*

Mark makes a fake gag-reaction.

Peter (a new level of confusion): Why?

Next Cue Card: Merry Car-mas, get it? Ok, see ya!

 

Mark pats Peter on the shoulder and walks away feeling like he just dodged a bullet, until he accidentally drops the cue cards. The cards perfectly splay out on the ground, “Juliet-Side” up. Peter quickly reads the cards and realizes what was really happening.

 

All Cue Cards:“With any luck by next year”, “I’ll be going out with one of these girls”, *Pictures of models*, “But for now let me say”, “Without hope or agenda”, “Just because it’s Christmas”, “And at Christmas you tell the truth”, “To me you are perfect”, “And my wasted heart will love you”, “Until you look like this”, *Picture of a different mummified person, “Merry Christmas”.

 

Peter runs out in the street and tackles Mark.

Peter (yelling): That’s my wife you bloody asshole!

 

Peter repeatedly punches Mark.

 

Mark (yelling): Enough! Enough now!

 

Dido‘s “Here with Me” plays as the scene cuts to Rufus (Rowan Atkinson) doing something light-hearted and goofy.