A Class-Action Lawsuit Against Wayne Enterprises

Dear Mr. Bruce Wayne,

Pursuant to Gotham City legal statutes, you are hereby given notice that my clients, your former employees, intend to commence a class-action lawsuit against Wayne Enterprises and its subsidiaries to demand change to the abusive working conditions at Wayne Tech Fulfillment Centers. Many are scared to take bathroom breaks as your employee handbook frequently states “CRIME DOESN’T TAKE A BREAK!”

Though you’ve often cited safety as a top priority, your products seem uniquely violent. My clients do not feel trained to safely assemble some of your orders, including “advanced spandex,” a “smoke bomb that can fit into a belt” and multiple “military-grade tanks painted jet-black.” One client severely hurt themselves while working on bladed bat-shaped boomerangs. Unlike that supposed toy, their lost arm won’t just ricochet back.

My clients testify that you won’t allow them to take legally mandated overtime or vacation days, even when they have to thaw out loved ones caught by Mr. Freeze. My clients say that Wayne Enterprises tasks them with unreasonable orders for the Gotham PD each time a super-villain breaks out of Arkham Asylum. Hundreds of copies of the “Big Book of Bad Jokes” to combat the Riddler. Cases of catnip, yarn, and 18th century impressionist paintings to lure Catwoman. Thousands of pounds of pesticide and herbicides to fight Poison Ivy.

Further, my clients attest that Wayne Enterprises cultivates a culture of discrimination against former super-villain henchmen. Reformed henchmen are the backbone of Gotham’s non-criminal economy! They have few employment options, as the last non-Wayne business, a Footlocker near Crime Alley, left Gotham after the 5th citywide penguin-themed massacre.

Though you claim to support a hypothetical workers’ union, you have done nothing to stop The Batman and his young accomplice from breaking up every effort Wayne Enterprise employees have made to unionize. Your workers want fair negotiations to demand an honest living wage. Mr. Wayne, even you must admit that collective bargaining is not the same as “mind control by Scarecrow’s fear toxin.”

Additionally, Mr. Wayne, my clients have suffered severe emotional distress on your watch. You routinely monitor and intimidate my clients on the factory floor, bizarrely demanding they skip lunch breaks, work overtime, or reveal the Joker’s last known location. Their suggestion of “the amusement park” was simply an educated guess, not an admission of guilt.

My clients should not have to live in fear of you cornering them alone to scream, “I AM VENGEANCE, I AM THE NIGHT!” That is textbook workplace harassment.

My clients will continue to pursue legal action against Wayne Enterprises unless you agree to the following measures.

Firstly, my clients demand Wayne Enterprises increase employee wages. Each of Wayne Enterprises’ full-time employees still requires public welfare assistance – welfare that Gotham cannot afford because of the tax cuts you forced upon the city after last year’s bidding war with Metropolis.

Second, my clients demand Wayne Enterprises institute workers’ comp. While The Batman claims to have a “no-killing rule,” he has not been against both maiming and permanently immobilizing my clients.

Finally, we demand you cease planting negative stories about my clients in the Gotham Gazette. We suspect this is why you bought a newspaper in the first place.

In closing, my clients believe the silent protector of Gotham is not The Batman. It is robust legal recourse in civil court.

Harvey Dent, Gotham City District Attorney