Abbott and Costello Discuss Major League Baseball’s Revised Diversity Pipeline Program

“Details regarding the league’s once-lauded Diversity Pipeline Program, which began as a means to combat the lack of diversity within MLB’s front offices, seem to have been entirely wiped from the [MLB] site…. MLB added that… the pipeline program will continue. However, the link to apply for the program no longer appears on the program’s landing page.” The Athletic

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Abbott: Costello, I’m excited as always to be working with you here in Major League Baseball’s corporate headquarters. You know, we’re redesigning MLB’s Diversity Pipeline Program.

 

Costello: Glad to hear it. Can you tell me the name of the guy in charge of the program?

 

Abbott: Who’s in charge.

 

Costello: I’m asking you, who’s in charge of the redesigned Diversity Pipeline Program?

 

Abbott: Exactly.

 

Costello: You’re saying, Exactly’s in charge.

 

Abbott: No, Who.

 

Costello: That’s what I’m asking!

 

Abbott: What is designing the new Diversity Pipeline Program. Let’s talk about him later.

 

Costello: Who’s designing the new Diversity Pipeline Program?

 

Abbott: No, Who’s in charge. What is designing the new program.

 

Costello: I don’t know. That’s the information I’m trying to find out. How about the name of the revised program?

 

Abbott: Just as you said, I Don’t Know.

 

Costello: I don’t know either. That’s why I’m asking.

 

Abbott: Why is our lawyer. Let’s get back to the program.

 

Abbott: I’m trying to find out the name of the program!

 

Abbott: You just said the name of the program. Don’t you remember?

 

Costello: I don’t know.

 

Abbott: See, you got it.

 

Costello: Who got it?

 

Abbott: Who’s in charge.

 

Costello: What?

 

Abbott: What writes the program.

 

Costello: I don’t know.

 

Abbott: That’s the name of the program.

 

Costello: Is there anyone in the program now?

 

Abbott: Nobody.

 

Costello: Not a single person?

 

Abbott: Maybe they’re single. But that’s Nobody’s business.

 

Costello: Whose business?

 

Abbott: Who’s got his own business. And Who isn’t Nobody.

 

Costello: OK, well, will you tell me when someone can apply to the new diversity pipeline program?

 

Abbott: Eventually.

 

Costello: When will you tell me when someone can apply to the new program?

 

Abbott: I’m telling you now, man.

 

Costello: You’re telling who?

 

Abbott: No, Who’s in charge, I’m telling you.

 

Costello: What are you telling me?

 

Abbott: What’s designing the new program.

 

Costello: I don’t know.

 

Abbott and Costello, together: THE NAME OF THE PROGRAM!

 

Costello: Say I want to write a memo about MLB’s new diversity pipeline program. I write a memo to Who, that gets forwarded to What, and it’s about I Don’t Know. Who’s in the program now? Nobody. When can someone apply? Eventually. Why? He’s our lawyer.

 

Abbott: Now you’ve got it.

 

Costello: I don’t even know what I’m talking about. And I don’t give a damn!

 

Abbott: Say that again?

 

Costello: I don’t give a damn!

 

Abbott: Wow, you really have caught on. That’s MLB’s new official statement on diversity.