A cool piece of trivia to know is that in the olden days, football used to be played with a blown up pig bladder, until one day, someone was like, “Hey guys, why don’t we try using one of these footballs we have lying around instead?”
Hi. My name is Donnie, and what I am going to do is I am going to do a book report. The book report I am going to do is about the Witch Hunt book we read in class during silent reading time.
I am so pumped! Yesterday was an amazing victory for me, as I attempted a very simple skateboard trick, flipped into the air a thousand times, crashed face first into the cement, and managed to not break 47% of the bones in my body. I think I speak for everyone — from the girls at the skatepark who wept in horror at the sight of me to the paramedics who vomited when they saw my mangled body — when I say HELL YES, this was a complete and total victory for me as a skateboarder and anyone saying otherwise is fake news.
Are you stressed? Worn out? Beaten down? Have recent events — creeping totalitarianism, the crumbling of democracy, the loss of your job — upgraded your nausea from mild to moderate? If you previously supported Trump, but recent events are starting to give you a lil’ tummyache, try one of James Comey’s Patented Medications for the […]
The Moat We’re going to build a great moat, a great moat, and we’re going to fill it with maple syrup. Nobody builds moats like me, folks. Nobody. And if I do a super-duper — and that’s a phrase Barron just taught me, “super-duper.” A lot of people don’t know this, but “super duper” is […]
ENOUGH! Alright, kids. Listen up. I’ve been listening to you whine and complain the entire evening, and I haven’t said a WORD until now, but enough is enough. No — no interruptions. I’ve had it up to here. You have all made your position on peas extremely clear. You do not like peas. You think […]
Black Cats A lot of great cats out there, folks. White cats, very nice. Black cats — during this campaign, I met a lot of black cats I wasn’t so familiar with. And I said — some of them are just like regular cats. Just like them! A lot of people don’t know that. Blackjack […]