Don’t Separate Church & State! Sexy Religious Texts Conservative Senators Can Send Their Mistresses

It’s tough constantly having to support and advocate for your Christian values while also having some side sugar. That being said, perhaps being a good Christian is what attracted your mistress/side man to you in the first place. Thus, there’s no need to separate church and state, here are some sexy religious texts to send your lover.

 

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John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave me you, the light of my life and sweltering secret that might end my career and make me perish in hell”

Love at first sight is real, and family, career, everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve, this should be thrown away in light of the woman/man you met at the Founding Farmers bar in Georgetown and bonded with over dirty martinis and dirty talk. Let them know they are worth the risk.

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Psalm 23 “Even though I walk through the shadows of the alleys of D.C. I will fear no evil, for you are with me; my rod and your staff badge, they comfort me. You prepare a conference table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with kisses; my coffee cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Let your staffer know that you not only appreciate their attention to detail at work, but also romantically. In order to keep an office romance strong, you need to encourage their rigor in the boardroom and the bedroom.

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Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through the emotional crutch who strengthens me.”

You are a Congressman. Power often comes with a lot of insecurities. And sometimes this pressure needs healing from someone who might not have your best interests at heart. Let them know how much you rely on their support, potentially giving them a political upper hand should things go south.

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1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. And I love my wife, my family, my constituents, and my heart is so big, I also have room to love you.”

Remind your lover that you’re an all around great guy/gal. So great, that you can be shared among many who are blessed with your presence and chemically-brightened smile.

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Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me, which is basically open permission to do everything I want, including you in the back of my Porsche station wagon.”

Yes, the car is normally used to transport your kids to/and from all their activities, but it’s hard to find a private place for you to meet your lover, and going to a hotel provides a paper trail as well as security camera footage.

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1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. It’s okay if I love you, even if in secret.”

If the Ten Commandments were prioritized, treating thy neighbor as thyself would be up top. That means it is unChristian to hold back your love from others. Let that tryst burgeon into a PR nightmare.