I, Carmen Sandiego, Do Not Endorse Theft of or From Venezuela

To our partners, henchpeople, licensing affiliates, and international community of gumshoes:

Wherever in the world you may be, you have no doubt heard of the recent thefts of Venezuelan assets and threats to commandeer autonomous political institutions. While these actions resemble the criminal activity typical of Villains’ International League of Evil [V.I.L.E.] operations, I would like to clarify that these actions were not undertaken by myself or any of my associates, nor do we endorse the methods used to carry out said interventions.

I acknowledge that recent events may represent an inevitable escalation of criminal ambition that I may have inadvertently contributed to. For decades, the cartoon villainy sector has rewarded scale, spectacle, and audacity and I failed to anticipate that my actions could inspire an unlicensed amateur to attempt to seize an entire country, and for that I sincerely apologize.

Since 1985, V.I.L.E. has been at the forefront of implausible large-scale criminal actions. While we have carried out elaborate heists concerning objects, symbols, and general perceptions of national significance, we have always respected state autonomy and have never stolen a nation in its entirety. In my capacity as the face of egregious, unbelievable pilfering, I unequivocally condemn the activities of the Trump Administration as contrary to the spirit of international thievery standards.

I regret setting the precedent for stealing critical infrastructure and significant national resources for no discernible benefit. While I expected my popular software and television appearances to influence a generation of Americans, this is not what I had in mind.

V.I.L.E. has never intentionally committed war crimes and I would like to assure you that such actions very much fall outside of our mandate. We are committed to only enacting wholesome, theme-song accompanied crises that can be completely rectified in one hour of gameplay or a half-hour broadcast television programming block. Our crimes rise above the vulgarity of political instability and unsanctioned military interventions, and we encourage all villains of the world to unite under these shared values.

I am also compelled, reluctantly, to come out of retirement to address a legal matter.

I, Carmen Sandiego in conjunction with Broderbund Software, retain certain intellectual property claims over the concept of globe-trotting villainy involving the theatrical theft of both vague national values and specific cultural assets. Consider this a courtesy notice to cease and desist any trademarked international heists or crimes.

Furthermore, while I have no desire to return to the field due to my own outstanding warrants, I would like to remind certain heads-of-state encroaching on my jurisdiction that Mar-a-Lago is indeed a National Historic Landmark and thus falls well within my area of expertise. If recent events are an indication that it is now open season on national resources and personnel, I might be compelled to re-enter the global heist market. I had once vowed to steal the planet’s treasure until there is nothing precious left, and it would be a shame to have to return to my mission by stealing an unfinished ballroom adjacent to the official residence of a global political leader. It is much beneath my capabilities, but if I must begin somewhere, I might choose an easy win.

This statement should not be interpreted as a threat, but rather as a defence of my professional image and the clear separation of my lifetime achievement and whatever in the world the Trump Administration is up to now.

Yours at large,

Carmen Sandiego

Master Thief & Chaircriminal of V.I.L.E.