My Proudest Accomplishments From 2021
Invented a time-traveling buttock massager that took first place at the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair .
Found a package of floss in a dead guy’s pocket, turned it into the Chili’s lost and found without a second thought.
Rather than paying for an expensive tattoo removal, simply purchased a new prosthetic arm.
Paid an Uber Eats driver seventy bucks to spit a loogie into Marjorie Taylor Greene’s salad from Wendy’s.
Taught myself to astral project, used this newfound ability to covertly discover the secret ingredients in peanut brittle.
Used my 401k to purchase land and develop a nudist community for those with psoriasis called Flakey Acres.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
