The Queen’s New Titles for Harry and Meghan

Lord and Lady Quittersley

Mr. and Mrs. Filthy-Commoner

Duke of Dead-To-Me and Duchess of Never-Existed-To-Me

Marquess of Ingratitude and Marchioness of Social Climbers

Viscountess and Viscount How-Much-We-Blew-On-That-Wedding

Edward & Wallis 2: 2 American 2 Divorced

Executive Producers, Some Emmy-Bait Netflix Show We Shall Assuredly Never Watch

Grand Executioners of a Queen in the Prime of Life

Sultan and Sultaness Whose Hands Shall Never Again Touch the Royal Corgis

The Right Dishonourable Snatchers of the Great-Grandbaby

Baron and Baroness No We Have Not Had One Too Many Dubonnet-And-Gins, And What If We Have?

Tsar and Tsarina of Well At Least We Still Have Andrew