Situations When Breakfast Cereals Other than Life Flash Before Your Eyes

Special K

You throw a splitter to strike out the side, but tear your UCL

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Quaker Oh’s

You watch an antique vase fall and shatter while sheltering in place near the San Andreas Fault

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Captain Crunch

You’re Johnny Depp having lunch on the set of the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and as you bite into a taco, you doubt if tacos are cool

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Alpha-Bits

You’re trying out new material at the comedy club, but get heckled by frat bros

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Froot Loops

You play what you think is a game-winning Scrabble word, but it’s actually misspelled, and now you lose a turn

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Frosted Flakes

You learn that your roommates, who didn’t come skiing like they said they would, went to a different mountain instead

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Trix

You’ve reached the finale of your magic act, but as you go to pull a rabbit out of your hat, it’s not there

 

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Reese’s Puffs

You’re watching The Terminator for the first time and are deeply invested in the well-being of Sarah Connor’s protector, but then you see him get shot and start breathing heavily

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Total

You’ve taken your girlfriend shopping, and after she’s brought everything up to the register, you see the amount you’ll be paying

 

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Lucky Charms

You’re driving back home after having taken your girlfriend shopping when you narrowly avoid crashing head-on into a tractor-trailer, and although you’re lucky to be alive, you realize that the pot o’ gold you’d been daydreaming about isn’t real