Some Possible New Jobs for Tucker Carlson

“Fox News on Monday dismissed Tucker Carlson, its most popular prime-time host and one of the most influential voices on the American right.” –New York Times, 4/24/23

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s human dog

Public bathroom policeman

Proud head boy

Creepy guy standing outside Victoria’s Secret flagship store who hasn’t left in like 3 years.

Washed-up Fox News host who got fired

Camp director at Tucker Carlson’s Summer Camp for Real Men Who Still Sleep with a Binky

Production assistant at Newsmax

GOP diversity consultant

Melting wax figure of Tucker Carlson

Busboy at Trump Grill 

Guy who posts really long diatribes about AI on LinkedIn

Florida man

Full-blown sexual predator

Opinion columnist for The New York Times


Podcast host