Some Possible New Jobs for Tucker Carlson

“Fox News on Monday dismissed Tucker Carlson, its most popular prime-time host and one of the most influential voices on the American right.” –New York Times, 4/24/23

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Marjorie Taylor Greene’s human dog

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Public bathroom policeman

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Proud head boy

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Creepy guy standing outside Victoria’s Secret flagship store who hasn’t left in like 3 years.

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Washed-up Fox News host who got fired

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Camp director at Tucker Carlson’s Summer Camp for Real Men Who Still Sleep with a Binky

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Production assistant at Newsmax

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GOP diversity consultant

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Melting wax figure of Tucker Carlson

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Busboy at Trump Grill 

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Guy who posts really long diatribes about AI on LinkedIn

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Florida man

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Full-blown sexual predator

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Opinion columnist for The New York Times

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Witch

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Podcast host