Song Titles From Ben Shapiro’s Forthcoming Rap Album Am I Cool Now
“Rap-hating conservative pundit Ben Shapiro is now a rapper. Shapiro, the founder of right-wing media empire The Daily Wire, teamed up with MAGA rapper Tom MacDonald… On the lib-owning track ‘Facts.’” -The Daily Beast, 1/26/24
“I Like Rap Now (But Not Black People)”
“Should I Get Dreads”
“I Have a Stick up My Ass”
“Ouch It Hurts (Having a Stick up Your Ass)”
“Abortion Is Murder, and So Is This Beat”
“I Don’t Understand Gay People When They Talk and That Makes Me Uncomfortable”
“America Is Racist (Against White Men)”
“I Am 40 Years Old and Scared of the Dark”
“This Verse Is Fire, and Doctors Who Perform Abortions Should Be Lit on Fire”
“I’m Not Blowing Money on Strippers (Because They Won’t Talk to Me)”
“I Just Want Eminem to Call Me Back”
“Left 40 Messages on His Phone”
“60 Text Messages”
“175 Emails”
“Eminem Is a Woke Karen”
“My Pronouns Are Carni/Vore”
“Liberals Are So Offended by Everything, Which Is Why I Wrote a Whole Song About Being Offended”
“My Dog Doesn’t Like Me”
“How Many Songs Need to Be on an Album”
“One Time I Ate an American Flag”
“It Came Out Whole”
Watch the new album AD!
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Bobbie Armstrong is a former child, current writer and student. Her work has appeared on McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Belladonna Comedy, Little Old Lady, and her parents’ fridge. Follow her existential crisis @bobbien_
