If You Had COVID-19 and the Presidential Candidates Were Your Doctors

Trump: Probably just a cold. You should go back to work.  *Resident behind him* He doesn't even work here.

In These Fraught Times, We Need A President Who Will Unite The Nation With Honor, Integrity, And The Delicious Flavor Of Quiznos (SPONSORED CONTENT)

Ladies and gentlemen, in these tumultuous times, we understand that the road ahead of us is a long one. But remember... our founding fathers did not sacrifice their lives just for this nation to inherit a future of dry, stale, Jimmy-John's-flavored ineptitude.

If the Candidates Could Debate My Own Problems

On Facebook, the world continues to forge relationships with obnoxious emojis at the expense of human-to-human contact and Harrison Ford is co-starring with a dog that doesn’t exist. How will you as president rein in the world’s growing artifice and bring back actual life to this country?

Tips For Smoothing Down Bloomberg's Evil Billionaire Image

Cheerful, brightly-colored welcome mats placed in front of each and every homeless person's cardboard-box.

The Democratic Candidates Ate The Plums That Were In The Icebox 

Warren, “Yes, I ate every single plum. And yes, I knew that you wanted to eat them for lunch. But hey, I’m human, and probably the first woman to eat them. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but what if I told you that I’ve got a plan to replenish them? What if I told you that eating them was a part of my plan all along?” 

The Road To A Tom Steyer Presidency

STEP 11 -- America impeaches, in this order, Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Grassley, Mike Pompeo, and, for good measure, the next 9 people in line for presidential succession.

Manager Handbook Chapter 12: So You’ve Hired A Woman. Now What?

Hiring competent people, regardless of their gender, is an important aspect of any manager’s job, but in today’s post #MeToo world, men in positions of power need to take certain precautions when they decide to allow a female into an office environment. No doubt she’s going to wreak some havoc simply by having breasts and walking around, so it’s important to prepare your male employees by requesting they review these guidelines and procedures should they have to interface with her.