The Church of Jesus Christ of Saints Who Are Always Running Late

“Have ye inquired of the Lord? He was supposed to be here two millennia ago.” - 1 Nephi 15:8

A Breakdown Of Where Your Weekly Church Contribution Goes

$ 195    eBay purchase of a Pop-Tart in the exact shape of the Virgin Mary. $ 125.00  Money spent to ensure that church security keeps homeless people off of church property. $ 87   3 dozen bags of marshmallows, 8 syringes of sodium pentothal for Youth Group retreat.

Talking’ Bout My Veneration

The whole tragic, last days of Christ had been imprinted on our our little Catholic brains since Kindergarten. Images of that poor, super-skinny dead man, hammered into splintery wood, with prickers on his bleeding head, were so commonplace that, by age eleven, looking at it was about as troubling as looking at a hamburger.

Catholic Church Sends Cease and Desist Letter

It has come to our attention that The Church of Todd has been using characters and stories owned by the Catholic Church during its “Friday Night Kegger Services”. We have not given Todd consent to use Jesus, Mary, crucifixion, misery, guilt, or famine.

All-Girls Catholic High School Sex-Ed Q&A With Sister Patricia

Every time a Catholic girl says “condom,” an angel loses its wings.

Quiz: Megachurch or Megamillions?

This institution is designed to suck money from hapless…