Posts

We’d Be Happy to Help You Unsubscribe From Future Emails!

We would like to make you confirm with the vernacular of a petulant child by clicking the “I don’t care, unsubscribe me anyway” button.  And is that tone really the kind of person you want to be?

A Millennial Metamorphosis

Not sure why but I’ve transformed into a giant insect (see pictures attached). I tried sleeping it off but that didn’t seem to work. Rest assured though I am working hard to figure this out so that it doesn’t affect my job performance. I’m getting better at controlling the mobility of all these legs, so I can still dial into the 10am...

The Email Graveyard

95,000 LinkedIn updates, That article you're going to read someday soon, Response to the email about setting up a playdate with a kid you don't know, and more!

CARTOON: Hear This!

Also may I have the whole can of soda? Today's cartoon by Joseph Dottino.

Human Resource Emails Sent to James Bond

Hi everyone. I didn’t want to single anyone out, but it has come to my attention that some agents have been intimate with clients, and targets, and targets’ widows. This is just a reminder that someone cannot consent if they are afraid for their life. I have attached the code of conduct.

Truly Terrible Companies Sending Out Coronavirus CEO E-mails

You Snooze, You Luge Narcoleptic Winter Sports Enthusiasts, Baloneedful Things Gift Shoppe & Deli, Totally Nude Scrapbookers Of America, and more!

Please Don’t Ignore Our Brief Survey About Your Customer Care Experience

Dear Valued Customer: We received your request to opt out of our surveys. No worries! Most of our valued customers ask to opt out, often dozens of times. Rest assured, we’re just as bad at processing opt-outs as we are at refunding your money. Thanks! Your friends on the Customer Care Team

Please Deliver This Request for Proposal by End of Week

My boss told me “deadline has the word ‘dead’ for a reason.” Help.

A Stalker Murders Me (A Story Composed from Presidential Campaign Fundraising Emails)

I am frustrated and angry today This is a crisis you cannot ignore running out of time Thomas!

Unsubscribe Response or Pleading Text from My Ex?

Ending things can be rough, for both significant others and insignificant brands. Please love us.

Wedding Rejection Emails

Listen to this article! Dear Mary, I regret to inform…

CARTOON: Hillary's Tramp Stamp

Internal Trump Campaign Emails From Last Weekend

+++++++++++++ Friday, Oct. 7, 2016 3:35 pm From: Donald To:…

Highlighted Excerpts of Interest From the FBI's Investigation of Hillary's Emails

"... just saying, if someone is being paid to give me a proper…

Newly Leaked Hillary Emails Suggest She May Have Seen 'Hamilton,' Or Is Just Crazy

Original Message From:Huma Abedin <Huma@clintonemail.com> To:…