Posts

Resolving The Diarrhea Paradox Plaguing Us All

If God created diarrhea to test me, then He’d already know how I’d fare against diarrhea (not great) since He’s all-knowing.

CARTOON: Visitation

Hell o. Today's cartoon by Alan Rozanski.

God's New Year's Resolutions

Finally Fill In Grand Canyon, New Rule That Not All Dogs Go To Heaven, Find Therapist That Doesn't Accuse You Of God Complex, and more!

Wing Man

After more than a century of trying, I was finally an Angel/First Class…ironically. Yes, my Wings were gained via sarcasm. So technically, I have two glowing, glorious Wings growing out of my back now. But they might as well be two glowing, glorious Asterisks.

God Announces He Will Forgive Some Sins

Think about the prayer economy! If we forgive too many sins, then there won’t be enough prayers for salvation coming in to sustain our Saints. Plus, a lot of people wish for ice luges in their Forever Paradise in the Sky. Do you know how expensive those are? If we get an unprecedented influx of people coming into heaven, all wishing for their own personal ice luge, I’m going to have to start laying off angels.

In Your Freakin’ Face! I Got Raptured!

Well, this was my revenge plan all along, you dingus! I knew if I kept the faith while you bullied me on earth, I’d get to spend an eternity rubbing it in your face while you got tortured by demons! I’ve always focused way more on the wrath part of Christianity than on the forgiveness part.

CARTOON: Summer Blockbuster

Impossible, nobody would believe it. Cartoon by Joe Wos.

CARTOON: Heavenly Delivery

Hope traffic wasn't hell getting here. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

CARTOON: Heavenly Expectations

Why was I trying so hard again? Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

CARTOON: Heaven