Can God prevent diarrhea?
If no, then God is not all-powerful.
If yes, then does God know about all the diarrhea I’ve been having lately?
If no, then God is not all-knowing.
If yes, then does God want to prevent present and future diarrhea for me and anyone else afflicted?
If no, then God is not all-good, nor is He all-loving.
If yes, then why does diarrhea exist?
If God created diarrhea to test me, then He’d already know how I’d fare against diarrhea (not great) since He’s all-knowing.
If Satan created diarrhea to torture me, then an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-good, and all-loving God could and would destroy Satan to prevent the further spread of diarrhea and diarrhea-like variants.
If God created diarrhea for no reason at all and could’ve created a universe where diarrhea didn’t exist, then why didn’t He?
If it was God’s free will, then could God have created a universe with free will but without diarrhea?
If no, then God is not all-powerful, all-knowing, all-good, all-loving, all-right, all-correct, all-that, all-of the above.
If yes, then I’ll ask once more, why didn’t He do that? Why? No, seriously why? WHY!? Because right now, I’d trade some free will for a solid shit!
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Robert Criss is a writer from Pittsburgh who writes to save the family farm. You can find his work right above this biography or below depending on where this biography is placed on the page in relation to the work. Follow his instagram @robertcriss