Posts

How to Tell if You’re Lighting the Menorah or Gaslighting the Jewish People

If you’re hanging out with Jewish friends around sundown during the week of Hanukkah, and you say something like ‘the history of Jewish suffering is overrated,” you’re both lighting and gaslighting. 

The Book of Exodus Amended to Include Laxatives

12:31 — In the middle of the night, Pharaoh called for Moses and said, “Get up and get out. Take all of your flocks and herds as you have asked.” Now Pharaoh was all backed up and so he said, “But you must leave me all your prune juice.”

Come Buy Our Grocery Store’s Matzah That We Advertise for Any and All Jewish Holidays!

We want you to know that we are here for all of your Jewish holiday food prep needs. The Jewish New Year? Matzah. That one Day of Fasting? Sneak a little matzah in your purse. And Hanukkah, the biggest and most important Jewish holiday of all (we think)? Winter holiday matzah. (That’s regular matzah with some blue twinkle lights strewn around.)

CARTOON: Passover Plated

Tears of isolation, some bitterness, and more!

10 New Year’s Resolutions Written For You by Your Jewish Mother

Read a book once in a while. I swear – if Instagram didn’t have captions your generation would be illiterate.  

What Your Preferred Spelling of the Jewish Festival of Lights Says About You as a Person

Chanukah: Only child. You own the complete works of Philip Roth and Michael Chabon. While the other kids were watching Disney Channel, you and your parents were listening to jazz. The proudest moment of your life was when you were retweeted by Bari Weiss.

Subscription Boxes to Help Make Your Passover Seder Manageable

Gefilte fish in a box: Nobody wants this, yet here we are.