CARTOON: Egg-citing Conundrum

Easter Egg-amnesia. Today's cartoon by Chris Shorten.

We’re Your Favorite Band from High School and We’re Really, Really Old Now

We’re opening with our hit about getting stoned and shredding a halfpipe. Even though he hasn’t been able to skateboard since his knee replacement, Brett is actually a little stoned right now from his THC-infused arthritis cream.

CARTOON: Beach Hang

Enjoy the sand between your toes and other places. Today's cartoon by Peter Kleinman.

A Guide to Pregaming in Your 40s

EVENT: A concert that starts at 10 pm for no good reason PREGAMING: Crashing on the couch for a 20-minute snooze then inserting Dr. Scholl's insoles into your sensible boots

I Am Happy with My Choice to Remain Childless. Also, Call Me “Uncle Jon.” You Must Care for Me When I Am Old. 

Your purpose isn’t to please your parents. It’s to find your own bliss, whether that comes from bar trivia, travel to destinations that allow you to bring your dog, or covering my rent once I’m too old to work but haven’t amassed a large enough 401(k) to last through retirement.

RottingStone Magazine

Visiting The Rock n’ Roll Hall Of Maim, 'Name That Tomb' with Casey Kasem, Jerry Garcia Seance- Gratefully Dead, Or Not So Much? and more in RottingStone Magazine!

CARTOON: Maturing Tastes

And a distaste for many other things. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

CARTOON: Downhill

Some bad news...Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

How to Avoid Scams That Target Senior Citizens Like You and Me

Luckily, you’ve got Gus to tell you what you should be vigilant against out there. Here are the most common scams targeting seniors right this second. THE HARRY TRUMAN, BUTTERSCOTCH, ANDREWS SISTERS MARRIAGE SCAM, and more!

CARTOON: Dusty Duds

It's a classic! Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea.

Clickbait For The Trendy Victorian Woman

QUIZ: Are You a Witch Or Are You Just Overwhelmed By Running the Household? Everything Your Husband Isn't Telling You About the Steamboat. And more!

Questions, Comments, and Concerns for Common Figures of Speech

Dog eat dog world: Sure, I know about dog fights. But dog cannibals? That’s a bit of a stretch for me. But you know what animals famously eat each other? Hamsters. So my edits for this “classic” saying is, let’s gain some accuracy and start saying we live in a “hamster eat hamster world.” It’s time to expose those bastards.

CARTOON: Vote Victrola!

Hop on the telegraph and spread the word! Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.

Revised Duran Duran Titles for Generation X-ers Heading into Their Fifties

The Reflux Hungry Like the Wolf, After Fasting for 24…

Comedian Kills Half His Elderly Audience With Great Joke

RIVERDALE, New York – All comedians like to be told they “killed”…