A Guide to Pregaming in Your 40s
EVENT: Company-mandated team-building karaoke
PREGAMING: Chugging hot water with a spritz of lemon and rimming the glass with raw Manuka honey
EVENT: Dancing the hora at your nephew’s bar mitzvah
PREGAMING: Shooting IcyHot into your knees
EVENT: Watch-Party for “Conversations with Friends” with your millennial friends
PREGAMING: Binge-reading the book first
EVENT: Wine-tasting at your local boutique wine bar
PREGAMING: Chasing three Ibuprofen with a liter of strawberry Pedialyte
EVENT: A concert that starts at 10 pm for no good reason
PREGAMING: Crashing on the couch for a 20-minute snooze then inserting Dr. Scholl’s insoles into your sensible boots
EVENT: 8 pm reservation for a 15-course dinner with your European friends who are way cooler than you
PREGAMING: Guzzling down a pre-dinner dinner matcha latte with two lines of Spirulina, then knocking back a heartburn pill
EVENT: Getting out of bed in the morning
PREGAMING: Good luck
- About the Author
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Viktoria is a Boston-based writer of humor and children’s books. You can find her work in Weekly Humorist, McSweeney’s, Points in Case, The Belladonna, and Robot Butt, or schedule a private reading of select pages of her 3rd-grade diary.
