CARTOON: Detective's Dilemma

Guess Who's Guilty? Today's cartoon by Chris Shorten.

CARTOON: Goldilocked Up

Unbearable Interrogation. Today's cartoon by Phil Johnson.

Roku City’s Police Blotter

25-year-old, Mark Stevens, of Roku City was arrested by Roku City Police for committing arson in the building that formerly housed the Everybody Loves Raymond billboard. The alleged arsonist was reportedly upset that the city replaced the billboard with an ad for the show Suits. No one was harmed. Several noise complaints were filed due to the man wailing “How can you do this, everybody loves Raymond and you clearly don’t.” Stevens was quickly released after Ray Romano paid the $10,000 bail.

Detective, if You Mess up 18 or 19 More Times You’re off the Case

Look Rodriguez, you know you’re a good cop, I know you’re a good cop, those girl scouts you put in a sleeperhold know you’re a good cop, but that can only keep you here so long. Eventually the mayor is going to wonder if all of your mayhem, destruction, and violations of civil rights and due process are worth the 3% of cases you solve.

CARTOON: Rule Fools

Have a nice day. Today's cartoon by Nick Downes.

I Love Self-Checkout Because I Never Steal And I Always Pay For Each Of My Items Every Time

I would never place an item in the bagging area without scanning it. Even if I wave it over the barcode reader and it doesn’t read, I would never place it in the bagging area or my pocket. I would simply ask for assistance, wait my turn as other honest patrons are served, and then explain to the worker that the baby formula says it’s twice as much as it used to be and there must be some kind of mistake. 

CARTOON: Leak Lineup

Tinkle Wrinkle. Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea.


Thaw and Order, Chill St Blues, Coldlumbo, and more #CopCopShows on this week's trending joke game!

CARTOON: Riot Geared

How embarrassing. Extra feather? Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

CARTOON: Brutality

Police States of America. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Good Jobs For Bad Cops

Bouncer at bingo parlors, Spray-Hose Operator at tanning salon, Motivational Speaker at skinhead rallies and more.

I Believe I’ve Mistaken This Coat Check for a Goat Check

You’re going to call security? How. Dare. You. You didn’t hear it from me, but Tiny has problems with authority and will start head-butting everyone within a ten foot radius if he gets nervous. Can I straight up bribe you to watch my goats? All I have on me are goat pellets, but I’m sure the bank across the street knows the exchange rate. 

A Prepared Statement for Fighting My Speeding Ticket

Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of traffic court, I am here…