CARTOON: Trapped

Devil is in the details. Today's cartoon by Paul Lander & Dan McConnell.

CARTOON: Sexual Hunger

Saucy Date Night Surprise! Today's cartoon by Jonathan La Luz.


Neat and tidy. Today's cartoon by Frega DiPerri.

I Miss the Good Old Days When Healthy Relationship Standards Meant Men Doing Whatever They Wanted and Women Shutting the Hell Up

I know I’m not the problem. The problem is women and algorithms. Women are too complicated, and so are algorithms. Put the two together, and you have a dating puzzle that not even the smartest man (Joe Montana) can solve. 

CARTOON: Programmer Pickups

Thanks, I just rebooted. Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

Your Psychiatrist’s Generalized Anxiety Survey

In the past five days, how often have you experienced nervousness or felt on edge? …skipped meals or experienced low or no appetite? …avoided social interactions, even with loved ones, such as a partner/spouse? If you answered “Sometimes,” was it to avoid hearing your partner/spouse mention their coworker Paul again and how funny and clever he is?

CARTOON: Bear Your Feelings

What? No, moving in together sounds great. Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

Why Don’t You Call her What She Is – Your Octopus *Whore*

What has she got that I haven’t got, Craig? Besides eight mesmerizing tentacles, the ability to change color and texture, and a disinclination to speak? I’ll dye my hair any color you want, but I’m sorry, buddy – I’ve only got the two arms, and neither of them are covered in little suction cups.

CARTOON: Passover Easy

This might scramble some things. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.


Kitchen table feeling smaller and smaller? Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

A Guide to Your Chocolate Sampler Box

Cherry Cordial: Simple and sweet. Like the beginning of a relationship, before it’s clear that your partner is incapable of remembering your Wheaten terrier’s birthday. And more!

Announcing the Ex-Boyfriend Reunion Tour

We've picked the perfect venue for this disastrous occasion: the really cool bar that you introduced all of them to. You know, the one where they now take girls who they're trying to sleep with to "hang out." Not that you still watch their Instagram stories or anything. Please.


You keep the cover, I'll take the wagon. Today's cartoon by Matt Percival.

Dear Family, I’m Marrying The Green Lady M&M

Afterward, shuttle buses will take guests to the reception to be held at the estate of Bartholomew Richard Fitzgerald-Smythe aka Mr. Peanut. Dinner will be catered by Chef Boyardee himself and desserts provided by the Keebler Elves. (And yes, Ms.Green can eat chocolate. It is not cannibalism! We’re made of meat and eat pork. Same thing!!)

Love & Dating Advice Based On The Number Of Letters In Your First Name

Four Letters: You actually met the love of your life yesterday at 6:43 pm. Or you would have if you didn’t insist on getting pho again for like the ninth day in a row. Instead, that person you gave your number to will be ruining your life for the next eleven years.

Unsubscribe Response or Pleading Text from My Ex?

Ending things can be rough, for both significant others and insignificant brands. Please love us.

4 Sex Positions Where You Can Secretly Watch a Steve Harvey Hosted Show

Your significant or not-so-significant other may want to try…

How to Get More Sleep

Keep In Sync With Your Body’s Sleep Cycle We know maintaining…

PlentyOfPrisoners and 11 Other Sites For People Who Confuse Crazy In Love w/Being In Love w/Someone Crazy

eHarmMe eBodilyHarmony ChristianMangle PlentyOfPrisoners AdultFiendFinder Cra-Cra…

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First-Date Customer Satisfaction Survey

Congratulations! You’ve been selected to participate in a…

Dear Donald

Donald Trump receives thousands of letters every week asking…