Posts

If You Had COVID-19 and the Presidential Candidates Were Your Doctors

Trump: Probably just a cold. You should go back to work.  *Resident behind him* He doesn't even work here.

Sample Scripts for the Elizabeth Warren Drunken Recrimination Phone Bank

You’ve indicated in the past that you’d be happy to vote for a woman, you just “weren’t that into” Hillary Clinton. And yet you’ve voiced concerns that Elizabeth Warren just isn’t “electable.” What does “electable” mean to you?

In These Fraught Times, We Need A President Who Will Unite The Nation With Honor, Integrity, And The Delicious Flavor Of Quiznos (SPONSORED CONTENT)

Ladies and gentlemen, in these tumultuous times, we understand that the road ahead of us is a long one. But remember... our founding fathers did not sacrifice their lives just for this nation to inherit a future of dry, stale, Jimmy-John's-flavored ineptitude.

If the Candidates Could Debate My Own Problems

On Facebook, the world continues to forge relationships with obnoxious emojis at the expense of human-to-human contact and Harrison Ford is co-starring with a dog that doesn’t exist. How will you as president rein in the world’s growing artifice and bring back actual life to this country?

The Democratic Candidates Ate The Plums That Were In The Icebox 

Warren, “Yes, I ate every single plum. And yes, I knew that you wanted to eat them for lunch. But hey, I’m human, and probably the first woman to eat them. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but what if I told you that I’ve got a plan to replenish them? What if I told you that eating them was a part of my plan all along?” 

Meme Counter-Programming For Democratic Candidates Who Aren’t Mike Bloomberg

Vote Memes in 2020!

Thoughts on Choosing a 2020 Democratic Candidate, or Which Subway to Take Home at Night

Instead of going all the way, it's stopping somewhere in the middle. It's still running, but on a different platform than I expected. I don't feel safe with this choice after 11pm. And more!

CARTOON: Twitter Character

Twitter characters show character. Today's cartoon by Rich Powell.