Retch-a-Sketch, Scare Bears, American Ghoul Doll, and more #TerrorToys on this week's trending joke game!


Toying with feelings. Today's cartoon by Steve McGinn.

Power Ranking The Best and Worst Mall Santa Laps For My Children 

#3 McKinley Mall: There was something off about this mall Santa but I couldn’t put my finger on it. So I placed my two cheeks on his lifeless lap and from that second I knew: this mall Santa was dead. Yep, a corpse dressed up in a Santa suit. It’s pretty unclear whether he died on the job or they had a hard time filling the role this Christmas season.

So You Want to Date a Teddy Bear: Ranking Teddy Bears by their Sensibility, Dependability, and F#ckability

Pooh is a thiccc ass bear with plenty of cushion for the pushin’. Though a giving partner, he’s not without his kinks, such as a preference to use honey as a substitute for over-the-counter lubrication. 


Tragic 8 Ball, Fearby, Speak & Hell, and more #TerrifyingToys on this week's trending jokes game!

I Didn’t Grow Up. I’m Still a Toys R Us Kid. I Should’ve Thought This Through.

I might’ve grown into a Spencer’s Gifts tween, pretending to look at Simpsons posters while covertly peeping fuzzy handcuffs and naughty dice. I could’ve become a Gadzooks teen, shoplifting ironic ringer tees I only sorta understood. I could’ve aged into an HomeGoods adult, embracing the simple thrills of decorative farfalle housed in seafoam green canisters. Instead, I’m cursed to live in a label-scarred building that’s only seasonally used as a Spirit Halloween. 

CARTOON: Lil Donnie Gifts

It starts early. Today's cartoon by Ron Hauge.

Ads For Products You Never Wanted

Winner's Rubix Cube: Did you like fidget spinners? Do you want to feel smart without doing any work to get there? Soothe your ego with a Winner's Rubix Cube.

CARTOON: Rent Vent

Look out for the eviction fairy. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.


Raggedy Anne Hathaway, GI Joan Collins, Pog the Bounty Hunter, and more #CelebAToy on this week's trending joke game!

Quiz: Death Row Or Hasbro?

Hasbro buys Death Row Records, do you know which is which?  Ready, set, go...

The Tremendous Space Force Planning Meeting

The next twenty-five minutes consists of President Trump going into great detail about what the Space Force line of toys needs to be. Action figures, shuttles, rockets, even a home base control room. Of course, the showcase of the toys is a super fit Donald Trump action figure in a glittering stars and stripes Mylar jumpsuit. The little guy is surprisingly pulling off those knee-high boots.

Sea Monkeys, A Starter Kit for Disappointment

Long before Facebook and Instagram gave the masses the tools…

Jack Off Joe Toy Catalogue

'Horrible' Harvey Weinstein...$8.99 The original--and some…

“Toys For Tots” Goes Bust!

A newspaper typo turned a local toy drive into a major traffic…