Your Partner’s Complaints About Popular Sex Toys 

Glade Plug Ins

Not intended to be used a butt plug, according to ER personnel.

The Destroyer

What was this supposed to have destroyed?   My relationship with my husband?   Okay, maybe.   But my genitals are none the worse for wear.

Vibrating Egg

Didn’t really care for it.   Felt really weird, and kind of gross.   Still, a funny prank gift for the kids when Easter rolls around!

Strawberry Passion Deluxe Body Lube

Kind of an unpleasant flavor, similar to strawberry and ass (although, to be fair, might have to do with the part of the body being lubed).

Anal Bee’s

I have since discovered that this should have been “anal beads” rather than “anal bees”.    The former sounds pretty nice, actually.  Don’t make my mistake of attempting to stuff a handful of live bees into your rectum, that’s all I’m saying.


Not a sex toy as it turns out, but rather a Magneto character beverage thermos from my kid’s X-Men lunch box.   Sorry honey!

The Fist & The Furious

Quite the unique movie tie in product!   Supposedly sculpted from Vin Diesel’s fist, this enticing item will have you spread wider than the plot holes in the movies!

Deluxe Swingers’ Delight Sex Swing

Honestly, gives me motion sickness when used for it’s designed purpose.   Great place for a quick, out of the way nap though!