Posts
Tips for Planning the Wedding of Your Nightmares After Realizing the Wedding of Your Dreams Is Too Expensive
Embrace a mismatched bridal party: Speaking of crafts, get creative and your bridesmaids won’t have to don the same stuffy overpriced ensemble. Let them wear whatever they want. Better yet, let them decorate a potato sack however they want. They’ll thank you for a look they can actually rewear. The versatility of a potato sack is unmatched.
Checklist For Things To Bring To Your Next Wedding Weekend
Jars of incense because you have unfortunately become that person. Flashcards reminding you not to drunkenly namedrop King Tutankhamen. Tupperware with ham and cheese sandwich. You saw the menu. And more!
I Want a Refund on This Wedding Photography Package Because All You Did Was Focus on Cats
I have seven nieces and only one of them’s in a photo. But even in that one, her face is hidden behind a manx wearing a large felt hat like Meghan Markle. Couldn’t you have moved her? Also, couldn’t you have focused on my bridesmaids in their fabulous dresses and not kittens in ill-fitting cummerbunds?
Truly Terrible Wedding Toasts & Announcements
"Please don't be concerned about the goodie bags smelling like bug spray; some ants had gotten into the bags earlier, but we took care of it, so everything should be fine now."
Amendments to Your Wedding Guest List From Your Mom
Remove: The Caterers You’ve Hired: Tell them they won’t be needed, or welcome. Your Nonna said she would take care of all the food and that a family meal would be her wedding gift. She’ll unfortunately be stirring the gravy during your ceremony, so you’ll have to get married again at a later date for her to watch. Maybe the second time can be in a church instead of on some bucolic estate?
CARTOON: Wow Vows
Don't get carried away. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
The Spring 2020 Vera Wang Wedding Dress Collection
The Fauci – Strapless soft sweetheart full A-line gown with draped wrap DuPont Tyvek 400 haz-mat bodice and swirling frothy draped skirt made from high-density polyethylene with guaranteed protection from particles and virus < 1 micron in size. Accentuated with organza sprig appliques with hand-tacked voluminous framed horsehair overskirt. Available in ivory or white. Or reflective yellow latex.
I Get Knocked Down. But I Get Up Again.
I just got knocked down in between writing this paragraph and the paragraph above it, the one about getting knocked down and getting up again at the Richard Marx concert.
The Bridesmaiden’s Tale
They dress us all alike. Like children. Like dolls. The same blank merlot chiffon. Maybe a J. Crew navy or an Anthropologie pink. Prints are too tarty, and low-cut backs. They scrub us of individuality.
Honest New York Times Wedding Announcements
Sasha, a graduate student in social work at New York University, and Henry, an angel investor and serial entrepreneur, met at a networking event hosted by the Harvard College Alumni Association in the City of New York, where they quickly discovered a shared passion for French pastry, expressionist painting, and pharmaceutical cocaine.
Welcome to Greg & Jackie’s Wedding Site—Fuck Yeah!
Welcome to Greg & Jackie’s Wedding Site—Fuck Yeah!
August…
The Summer 2018 Guide to Planning Your Dream Wedding and Swallowing That Last Bit of Yourself That Held Onto Your Most Secret and Sacred Dreams
Stay Organized
Between the guest list, the registry, and…
10 Helpful Hints If You’re Lucky Enough To Land an Invite To Harry and Meghan’s Wedding
Don’t just leave your car keys with anyone in a fancy uniform. …
Jokes My Sister Won’t Let Me Tell in a Toast at Her Wedding
It’s heartwarming to know that even in these tumultuous times,…
Wedding Rejection Emails
Listen to this article!
Dear Mary,
I regret to inform…
For Our Wedding We’re Registered For All the Items We Destroyed During the Blowout Fight We Had While Registering at Bed Bath and Beyond
We’re officially less than three months away! Eeeep! It’s…