Welcome to Greg & Jackie’s Wedding Site—Fuck Yeah!

Welcome to Greg & Jackie’s Wedding Site—Fuck Yeah!

August 31

The Ceremony

St. John’s Church
2 p.m.

The Reception

Greg’s parents’ backyard
4 p.m. ‘til the cops come

The Groom

Greg loves sports, tailgating, chilling with his boys, flip cup, and his family. He dropped out of college during his senior year and went on to become the youngest V.P. at his dad’s accounting firm. You already know he lifts, bro.

The Bride

Jackie told Greg to say that she’s obsessed with her family, bottomless brunches, topless beaches, and living life to the fullest. She also hates drama and loves her girls more than anything (except you, Bethany. You know what the fuck you did). Jackie teaches first grade at Maplewood Primary School.

The Wedding Party

Robby – Best Man
Richy – Groomsman
Ronny – Groomsman
Jerry – Groomsman
Mikey – Groomsman
Matty – Groomsman
Cory – Groomsman
Shawny – Groomsman
Keviny – Groomsman
Glenn – Groomsman

Jessica D. – Co- Maid of Honor
Jessica R. – Co-Maid of Honor
Jessica B. – Co-Maid of Honor
Jessica K. – Co-Maid of Honor

How They Met

Greg and Jackie first laid eyes on each other freshman year of college at an off-campus toga party. Jackie did a sick keg stand that lasted 51-seconds before she started puking everywhere. Her girlfriends ran over to hold back her ivy garland. That’s when Greg turned to his boy Robby and said, “Who is that girl? Her ass is divine!” and Robby said, “Word.” The rest is history!

The Proposal

Greg and Jackie had just broken up for the fourth time. This was when Jackie found out Greg was sleeping with her ex-best friend, so she started sleeping with his boy Robby (ice cold, bro). One Sunday, Robby took Jackie to Boardy Barn, and when Greg saw her Instagram story, he fucking lost it. He showed up at Jackie’s parents’ house the next day, crying and begging. Jackie opened her bedroom window and started tossing out everything he’d left there—mostly just his white tees, his black tees, and his going out tees. Greg knelt in the grass and yelled out, “DON’T DO THIS, JACKIE. I WANNA MARRY YOU.” That was the moment when Jackie stopped, looked into his eyes, and replied, “Eat shit and die.”

The Second Proposal

Anyone who’s met Greg and Jackie knows they can’t stay apart for long. One week later, they went to Mickey D’s to talk things over. Jackie didn’t even see it coming. Bro, the ring was in her McFlurry. #SheSaidFuckYeah


Greg and Jackie are registered at West Elm.